The anxiety is lying to you

✨ My anxiety used to wake me about 3am and I would stay up the whole day (family & work not so permitting of that mid day nap) finally falling into restless sleep around 11pm.

For years it was like this. Something would click and my brain would start talking about all the things left undone or half finished or "did I add that to my to do list".

I was exhausted.

Mentally, physically emotionally, and spirituality.

The family was concerned. I was concerned, but no matter how much I tried to could not make it stop, it only got worse.

I went back to church, I started following the cycles of the moon, honoring father sky and mother earth. And the we took a vacation.

8 days under the beautiful Hawaiian sun, I walked the beaches as the night turned to day. Watched the sun turn the sands from soft blue and black shadows in to golden specks of life. I laid on the beaches of the North Shore with William and watched the day turn to night, we saw a sail boat dancing in the waves as the sun sat behind it, and I witnessed him seeing, actually seeing, the Milky Way for the first time. Both of us acutely aware of how healing it is to realize how vast the Universe is and where and with what our attentions should lay.

For 8 days I met my son where he was in life and became child like in wonder, joy, and adventure. I met The Son every day as he guided me back to him and his glory, easing the pain I was carrying, helping me to give Him some of the burden I felt was mine and mine alone to carry, remembering who I am and more importantly the things that really matter in this life are right infront of me and I was missing them because I was worried about the F*%king grocery list.

When we came home. I slept past 10 for the first time in years, the next day the same. The following day I was back to work, but aware in that moment of respite that I was me again and I was going to do everything I could to remain me and not a version of me that wasn't living my own life. I quit the job, started meditating, practice yoga, learning more and more about the moon and how to honor and nuture myself and my family. Now I set my own schedule, long gone are the days of a 4 am up time for a 7 am start. Now I'm at work at 845 ( ish 😉) so my time is more of my own and less of everyone else's. Now if my anxiety wakes me I turn those binaural beats on nice and low to not wake William, (he does have to wake at 4) and drift back to sleep, safe and secure knowing that I am loved, welcome, and enough as I am, and the rest can wait until I say its time to start the day...

Moral of the story : you need 2 weeks in Hawaii with no responsibilities and your babies. Sun, sand, yummy foods, culture, hikes, the moon and the stars are what dr billi prescribes. 🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes the universe knows what you need or want better than we do and if we are patent and trusting we will receive it. ✨️ 💜.